What No One Tells You About Trauma
Trauma is widely misunderstood as a specific event—something terrible, violent, or life-threatening. But trauma isn’t the event itself. Trauma is what happens inside of us as a result of what happened to us. It’s our body and nervous system’s response to an overwhelming experience that exceeds our ability to cope in that moment.
You can think of trauma as a wound to the nervous system. It’s not always visible, and it doesn’t always show up right away. Some people walk away from intense experiences feeling regulated and resilient. Others carry the imprint of those moments in their bodies for years. It all depends on whether we were able to process and release the stress—or if it got stuck.
Why Trauma Isn’t About the Event
Not every car accident, breakup, assault, or loss results in trauma. Trauma occurs when we aren’t able to escape, resolve, or make sense of the experience. When we freeze or dissociate, the energy mobilized for survival—what would have helped us fight back or run away—gets locked inside our body. This is what creates the ongoing symptoms of trauma.
This is why two people can go through the same event and walk away with completely different outcomes. Trauma is less about what happened, and more about what didn’t get to happen in our response. Did we feel safe? Were we supported? Could we move, express, fight, flee, or make meaning of what occurred? If not, the trauma likely stayed with us.
The Body Keeps the Score
Our nervous system is intelligent and designed to keep us alive. In the face of danger, it initiates the survival responses we know as fight, flight, or freeze. These responses are not cognitive; they are instinctive. But if those responses are interrupted or incomplete, the energy stays stuck in our bodies.
This stuck energy doesn’t just go away. It lives on as chronic tension, hypervigilance, emotional reactivity, or a sense of numbness and disconnection. It shows up in our relationships, our thoughts, our habits, and even in how we breathe. Often, the trauma that lives in our body doesn’t show up as a memory—it shows up as a symptom.
From Survival Response to Mental Health Symptoms
Because unresolved trauma lives in the body, it often shows up in ways that look like mental illness. Anxiety, depression, panic, shutdown, emotional numbness, irritability, fatigue, and even digestive issues can all stem from a nervous system that’s stuck in a survival state.
You might not remember a traumatic event, but your body does. Dissociation and memory gaps are common. Trauma affects the brain, including blood flow and neural wiring, so even if your mind has blocked something out, your body may still be reacting as though it’s happening.
you’re not broken … and there is hope.
If any of this resonates, know this: you’re not broken. Your body is doing exactly what it was designed to do—protect you. The good news is, it can also heal. Want to explore how somatic therapy can help you release what’s been stuck in your body? Read part two: Why Talking About Trauma Won’t Heal It—And Here’s What Does.
Based in Pasadena, I support clients across California with somatic and integrative trauma therapy, helping high-achievers break free from anxiety, burnout, and emotional disconnection.
